COVID Diary: About my Wallowing Playlist

The playlist is here on my personal YouTube account [as opposed to my blogging account].

This is the playlist:

I think I've told the story before, but I figure it's worth telling again.

In February 2011, I was in the job from hell. One morning, I went into Manhattan on a Saturday morning to finish up the annual statement for the company. I expected my boss and at least one other actuary [let me call him Bob, not his name] from our group to be there.

I didn't realize that, as I was going up the elevator, my boss was going down a different one. [I figured this out as I left, because we had to sign in/out after hours at the security guard's desk at the entrance. As I left, I saw the time he had signed out.]

Why was he going down the elevator, you may ask? Because he had just sent an email to the CFO saying he was quitting, effective immediately. I believe he was in the office only 10 minutes by the ledger... it certainly was less than an hour.

Anyway, I come into the office, say hi to Bob, and get to work on my spreadsheets. Bob & I wonder where the boss is, but figure we're just early. About an hour into this, I either get a text or an email from the now-ex-boss.

I realize there's no point to doing anything more that day.  I tell Bob to go home [I'm senior to Bob].  I email/call Stu to let him know I'm coming home as soon as I can, and how much booze do we have on hand.  I can't say I was surprised/shocked/etc. by the boss's resignation. But I was extremely unhappy. What was to come... well. I will get there.

The office was on Wall Street, and this is on the weekend, when the trains ran only once an hour to back home. I can't even remember if I got lunch at GCT. I think they weren't even serving lunch when I managed to leave. I was texting the ex-boss during this time, who managed to find an open bar in New Jersey [he had gone back to his place].  

I got home and started drinking... and wallowing on videos on YouTube.

Videos like this:

And this:

I kept watching/listening to the same videos over & over, so I started the playlist.

By the way, this was over President's Day weekend. On Monday, the office was closed, but also that's when I got emails from some other people. I found out that the chief actuary had resigned [with a 2 week notice], as had the chief admin officer [also 2 week notice]. I don't know if we had more resignations that weekend, but those were the two I really needed to know about. One of the remaining executives I worked with called me up on Monday, asking if I was okay [I said no] and I think he was really checking to find out if I'd show up on Tuesday [I did].

The next month was pretty bad. We had people quitting left & right, with my favorite being an actuary quitting with "two weeks' notice, but you know, I have 2 weeks of vacation days y'all have never let me use yet, and I'm using them now" email from his house. Then HR called me to bitch me out about the situation and told me that we should threaten him with something if he didn't show up [I forget what it was]. I told her we absolutely had no leverage with him. He quit without having another job lined up. What the hell could she threaten him with? I also told her we probably didn't have enough to bribe him back, even temporarily.

I tried to cheer myself up by reminding myself that this would pass:

I left the company, too, but in a bit more orderly way. I had the new job by my birthday [whee!], the job I'm in now.  

After I switched jobs, it took me awhile, but I was feeling really good, and started adding happy songs.

Then time passed, and I just added songs I liked, what the hell.

From years later, it is really amusing to me that I built this playlist like I was dealing with a bad relationship breakup.


But in general, I do like going back to the list when I'm feeling like shit, and I'm not up for opera.  Feel free to watch, too.


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